eponymous-rose:

So to those guards, the day went like:

• Follow these weirdos to a bureaucrat’s house. Everyone says “Good day” way too much. The big one starts saying “Bidet.” Okay.
• Arrive at the bureaucrat’s house. Everyone is angry and awkward. Everyone is also very picky about tea. Now we’re teaching a small child swear words. Okay.
• One of them is a Baroness. Nobody seems as surprised by this fact as she does. Okay.
• Take them to their rooms. They all talk about going to sleep for the night. It’s morning. They walk into one room together, stay inside for a few minutes, then all come storming out. Okay.
• Walk with them to go see a very important person. They start out talking about important things, but the conversation quickly turns to hats. Why do they all have hats. Now we’re going to an entire room full of hats. One of them is injured in the hat room. Cleanup on aisle five. Okay.
• Everyone sits in a storage room shuffling through the lost-and-found for over an hour. The big one crushes a potato in his fist. Cleanup on aisle five. Okay.
• Take everyone back to their rooms to sleep. It’s still super early in the day. They all want to sleep in one room. Okay.
• One of them says they’re tired and need a nap. She cannot be trusted.
• Another says they’re actually all going to have a super kinky orgy. That sounds far more likely.
• Two of them go into the room as squirrels. One of them comes out as a goose.
• Okay.